Benevolence is not your typical princessâand Princess Ben is certainly not your typical fairy tale.
With her parents lost to assassins, Princess Ben ends up under the thumb of the conniving Queen Sophia. Starved and miserable, locked in the castle's highest tower, Ben stumbles upon a mysterious enchanted room. So begins her secret education in the magical arts: mastering an obstinate flying broomstick, furtively emptying the castle's pantries, and even setting her hair on fire...
But Ben's private adventures are soon overwhelmed by a mortal threat to her kingdom. Can Ben save the country and herself from tyranny?
The heat is on for Hiccup as he is called to save the day once again. Someone has stolen the Fire-Stone. Now that the volcano on Volcano Island has become active, the tremors are hatching the eggs of the Exterminator dragons!
Can Hiccup return the Fire-Stone to the Volcano, stop it from erupting, and save the Tribes from being wiped out by the terrible sword-claws of the Exterminators?
Bindy Mackenzie believes herself to be the smartest, kindest girl at Ashbury High. Unfortunately, she is alone in that belief.
To prove her likeability, Bindy decides to document her life in transcripts, essays, and e-mails. What this reveals is a girl who's funny, passionate, hilariously self-righteous...and in danger.
Someone wants to kill Bindy Mackenzie. The clues are in the documents. The detectives are the very students who hate her most. And time is running out.
Enjoy this wickedly funny follow-up to The Year of Secret Assignments. It's a killer!
Amy Gaer is a busy working wife and mother with young twin boys and a precocious teenage daughter. After returning home from a hectic day at work, Amy greets her children and carves out a few minutes to listen to her daughter sing. A delicate, silky melody fills the air, and Amy's mind drifts back more than twenty years to a time when everything changed for herâŚ
It's 1992. Grunge is on the rise. âHair bandsâ are fading. Amy graduates from college and despite a talent for music, she's determined to chase the corporate ladder. Returning to rural Iowa for the summer to live at home with her parents, all her plans shift when Amy meets a local farmer named Nick. A romance blossoms and suddenly the previously banal landscape becomes beautiful.
But settling into a life with Nick is far more complicated than she expected, and she is faced with decisions that will alter her life forever.
For fans of Emily Giffin and Sophie Kinsella, Goodbye Def Leppard (I'll Miss Those Jeans) is a lighthearted yet poignant tale about life, fate, and the difficult choices we make.
When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power - vodka. You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class. Welcome to Chelsea's world - a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense.
In this hilarious, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she's convincing her third-grade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her... only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations.
Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today.
With over one million copies sold, this series of modern classics about the charming Penderwick family from National Book Award winner and New York Times bestseller Jeanne Birdsall is perfect for fans of Noel Streatfeild and Edward Eager.
The Penderwick sisters are home on Gardam Street and ready for an adventure! But the adventure they get isn't quite what they had in mind. Mr. Penderwick's sister has decided it's time for him to start datingâand the girls know that can only mean one thing: disaster.
Enter the Save-Daddy Planâa plot so brilliant, so bold, so funny, that only the Penderwick girls could have come up with it. It's high jinks, big laughs, and loads of family warmth as the Penderwicks triumphantly return.
Meet the Sisters Club: twelve-year-old Alex, aspiring actress and born drama queen; eight-year-old Joey, homework lover and pioneer wannabe; and smack in the middle, ten-year-old Stevie, the glue that holds them together â through dinner disasters, disputes over stolen lucky sweaters, and Alexâs going gaga over her leading man.
Playfully weaving Stevieâs narration with Alexâs scripts, Joeyâs notebook entries, and hilarious elements such as "How to Swear in Shakespeare" and "Dear Sock Monkey" letters, this hugely engaging novel showcases Megan McDonaldâs ear for dialogue, comic timing, and insight into the ever-changing dynamics of sisterhood.
Armageddon in Retrospect is a poignant collection of twelve new and unpublished writings on war and peace, imbued with Kurt Vonnegut's trademark rueful humor. This collection, published on the first anniversary of Vonnegut's death, offers profound insights into the harrowing realities and moral complexities of warfare.
Within these pages, you will find essays such as an exploration of the destruction of Dresden and a story that delves into the first-meal fantasies of three soldiers. Vonnegut also provides a meditation on the impossibility of shielding children from the temptations of violence.
Through his unique lens, Vonnegut challenges readers to reflect on the human condition, the folly of conflict, and the enduring quest for peace. This collection is a must-read for those who appreciate thought-provoking literature that blends humor with profound philosophical questions.
The Willoughbys is a delightfully tongue-in-cheek story about parents trying to get rid of their four children, and the children who are all too happy to lose their beastly parents and be on their own.
The Willoughby childrenâTimothy, twins Barnaby A and Barnaby B, and their sister Janeâare fond of all old-fashioned things, but especially old-fashioned adventures. What they aren't fond of, however, are their parents. Truth be told, their parents aren't the fondest of them, either, and they're concocting an evil plan to get rid of their children once and for all!
Both parents and children have plenty of dastardly ideas and tricks up their sleeves. The only thing they don't have is any idea of what lies between them and a happily-ever-after.
This hilarious and wonderfully old-fashioned parody pays playful homage to classic works of childrenâs literature like Mary Poppins and A Christmas Carol.
Frankie Landau-Banks at age 14: Debate Club. Her father's "bunny rabbit." A mildly geeky girl attending a highly competitive boarding school.
Frankie Landau-Banks at age 15: A knockout figure. A sharp tongue. A chip on her shoulder. And a gorgeous new senior boyfriend: the supremely goofy, word-obsessed Matthew Livingston.
Frankie Landau-Banks, at age 16: No longer the kind of girl to take "no" for an answer and possibly a criminal mastermind. This is the story of how she got that way.
Frankie Landau-Banks. No longer the kind of girl to take "no" for an answer. Especially when "no" means she's excluded from her boyfriend's all-male secret society. Not when her ex-boyfriend shows up in the strangest of places. Not when she knows she's smarter than any of them. When she knows Matthew's lying to her. And when there are so many, many pranks to be done.
Dear Anthony:
I appreciate your recent interest, but I'm not accepting applications at this time. Your letter will be kept in our files and someone will get back to you if there is an opening. Thank you for thinking of me.
Respectfully,
Alejandra Perez
P.S. It's not Allie. It's Ale.
Meet T.C., who is valiantly attempting to get Alejandra to fall in love with him; Alejandra, who is playing hard to get and is busy trying to sashay out from under the responsibilities of being a diplomat's daughter; and T.C.'s brother Augie, who is gay and in love and everyone knows it but him.
Meet Isabel "Izzy" Spellman, private investigator. This twenty-eight-year-old may have a checkered past littered with romantic mistakes, excessive drinking, and creative vandalism; she may be addicted to Get Smart reruns and prefer entering homes through windows rather than doors. But the upshot is, she's good at her job as a licensed private investigator with her family's firm, Spellman Investigations.
Invading people's privacy comes naturally to Izzy. In fact, it comes naturally to all the Spellmans. If only they could leave their work at the office. To be a Spellman is to snoop on a Spellman; tail a Spellman; dig up dirt on, blackmail, and wiretap a Spellman. Part Nancy Drew, part Dirty Harry, Izzy walks an indistinguishable line between Spellman family member and Spellman employee.
Duties include: completing assignments from the bosses, aka Mom and Dad (preferably without scrutiny); appeasing her chronically perfect lawyer brother (often under duress); setting an example for her fourteen-year-old sister, Rae, who's become addicted to "recreational surveillance"; and tracking down her uncle, who randomly disappears on benders dubbed "Lost Weekends."
But when Izzy's parents hire Rae to follow her (for the purpose of ascertaining the identity of Izzy's new boyfriend), Izzy snaps and decides that the only way she will ever be normal is if she gets out of the family business. But there's a hitch: she must take one last job before they'll let her goâa fifteen-year-old, ice-cold missing person case. She accepts, only to experience a disappearance far closer to home, which becomes the most important case of her life.
Ocean's 11... with 11-year-olds, in a super stand-alone heist caper from Gordon Korman!
After a mean collector named Swindle cons him out of his most valuable baseball card, Griffin Bing must put together a band of misfits to break into Swindle's compound and recapture the card. There are many things standing in their way â a menacing guard dog, a high-tech security system, a very secret hiding place, and their general inability to drive â but Griffin and his team are going to get back what's rightfully his... even if hijinks ensue.
This is Gordon Korman at his crowd-pleasing best, perfect for readers who like to hoot, howl, and heist.
It was a case she could sink her teeth into...
After seven hundred years of life, Marguerite Argeneau finally has a career. Well, the start of one, anyway. She's training to be a private investigator, and her first assignment is to find an immortal's mother. It seemed simple enough, until Marguerite wakes up one evening to find herself at the wrong end of a sword. Now she realizes she's in way over her head.
Julius Notte wants to protect Marguerite, and not because someone just tried to take her head off. She doesn't know it yet, but she's his lifemate and he's determined to woo her. It's been over five hundred years since he last courted a woman, but surely the techniques haven't changed. Now if only he can keep her aliveâso to speakâso they can have that happily-ever-after.
Saying Toby Klein is an unlikely cheerleader is like saying Paris Hilton might be into guysâunderstatement of the year. But the varsity squad at Bayport High gives new meaning to the phrase All-American, and Toby's double life as a varsity cheerleader and a government operative means balancing protocol, pep rallies, computer hacking, and handsprings.
Now something's about to go down in Bayport, and the Big Guys Upstairs need to know what. The Squad is on the case, but it looks like this mission could put the 'l' in lethal. And if the spy business doesn't kill Toby, it's starting to look like Brooke, the team's captain, might. The nominations are in for homecoming court, and rumor has it that Toby is the unlikely front-runner for queen.
Terrorist threat? Bloody mission gone wrong? Demented squad captain?
Bring it on.
Naomi loves Ely. And she's kinda in love with him. Ely loves Naomi. But he prefers to be in love with boys.
Naomi and Ely have been inseparable since childhoodâpartially because they've grown up across the hall from each other in the same Manhattan apartment building, and also because they're best friends. Soul mates. Or are they?
Just to be safe, they've created a NO KISS LISTâtheir list of people who are absolutely off-kissing-limits for both of them. The NO KISS LIST protects their friendship and ensures that nothing will rock the foundation of Naomi and Ely: the institution.
Until Ely kisses Naomi's boyfriend. And a fateful piece of chewing gum in the wrong place at the wrong time changes everything.
Soon a rift of universal proportions threatens to destroy their friendship, and it remains to be seen whether Naomi and Ely can find their way toward new soul-mate prospects... and back to one another.
Rachel Cohn and David Levithan have written a love story about love of all kinds, one that reminds us that any great friendship can be as confusing, treacherous, inspiring, and wonderful as any great romance.
In one month, Jeremy Fink will turn thirteen. But does he have what it takes to be a teenager? He collects mutant candy, he won't venture more than four blocks from his apartment if he can help it, and he definitely doesn't like surprises. On the other hand, his best friend, Lizzy, isn't afraid of anything, even if that might get her into trouble now and then.
Jeremy's summer takes an unexpected turn when a mysterious wooden box arrives in the mail. According to the writing on the box, it holds the meaning of life! Jeremy is supposed to open it on his thirteenth birthday. The problem is, the keys are missing, and the box is made so that only the keys will open it without destroying what's inside.
Jeremy and Lizzy set off to find the keys, but when one of their efforts goes very wrong, Jeremy starts to lose hope that he'll ever be able to open the box. But he soon discovers that when you're meeting people named Oswald Oswald and using a private limo to deliver unusual objects to strangers all over the city, there might be other ways of finding out the meaning of life.
Lively characters, surprising twists, and thought-provoking ideas make Wendy Mass's latest novel an unforgettable read.
Vampires Don't Exist...Do They?
Inez Urso is beginning to have her doubts. Her business associate Thomas Argeneau has some interesting traits, like an allergic reaction to the sun, excellent night vision, and not much of an appetite for food. And to top it all off, he just tried to bite her neck... but maybe that was a sign of passion. If so, she'd be happy to experience more, despite her determination not to mix business with pleasure.
He's Been Waiting Forever For A Woman Like Her...
Well, if not forever, at least two hundred years. Inez is the most beautiful woman he's seen in centuries. Those luscious lips, seductive curves, and her elegant neck... he just couldn't resist the temptation of one little bite. Now Thomas will do anything to convince her that only an immortal like him can satisfy her all night long...
The Geography of Bliss: One Grump's Search for the Happiest Places in the World is a captivating journey by Eric Weiner, who spent a decade as a foreign correspondent. Weiner reported from discontented locales such as Iraq, Afghanistan, and Indonesia, where the unhappy people living in profoundly unstable states inspired pathos and made for good stories, but not good karma.
Admitted grump and self-help book aficionado, Weiner undertook a year's research to travel the globe, looking for the "unheralded happy places." The result is a book that is equal parts laugh-out-loud funny and philosophical, a journey into both the definition of and the destination for true contentment.
Apparently, the happiest places on earth include, somewhat unexpectedly, Iceland, Bhutan, and India. Weiner also visits the country deemed most malcontent, Moldova, and finds real merit in the claim. But the question remains: What makes people happy? Is it the freedom of the West or the myriad restrictions of Singapore? The simple ashrams of India or the glittering shopping malls of Qatar?
From the youthful drunkenness of Iceland to the despondency of Slough, a sad but resilient town in Heathrow's flight path, Weiner offers wry yet profound observations about the way people relate to circumstance and fate.
Both revealing and inspirational, perhaps the best thing about this hilarious trip across four continents is that for the reader, the "geography of bliss" is wherever they happen to find themselves while reading it.
Full of spleen, this will be a hilarious, invigorating, and informative journey through the world of Bad Science. When Dr. Ben Goldacre saw someone on daytime TV dipping her feet in an 'Aqua Detox' footbath, releasing her toxins into the water, turning it brown, he thought he'd try the same at home.
'Like some kind of Johnny Ball cum Witchfinder General', using his girlfriend's Barbie doll, he gently passed an electrical current through the warm salt water. It turned brown. In his words: 'before my very eyes, the world's first Detox Barbie was sat, with her feet in a pool of brown sludge, purged of a weekend's immorality.'
Dr. Ben Goldacre is the author of the Bad Science column in the Guardian. This book will be about all the 'bad science' we are constantly bombarded with in the media and in advertising. At a time when science is used to prove everything and nothing, everyone has their own 'bad science' moments - from the useless pie-chart on the back of cereal packets to the use of the word 'visibly' in cosmetics ads. This book will help people to quantify their instincts - that a lot of the so-called 'science' which appears in the media and in advertising is just wrong or misleading. It will be satirical and amusing - exposing the ridiculous - but it will also provide the reader with the facts they need.
What's a Princess to do?
It's Mia's senior year, and things seem great. She aced her senior project, got accepted to her dream college(s), and has her birthday gala coming up... not to mention prom, graduation, and Genovia's first-ever elections.
What's not to love about her life? Well... her senior project? It's a romance novel she secretly wrote, and no one wants to publish it. Prince Phillipe's campaign in the Genovian elections isn't going well, thanks to her totally loathsome cousin Rene, who decided to run against him. Her boyfriend, J.P., is so sweet and seemingly perfect. But is he the one? And her first love, Michael, is back from Japan... and back in her life.
With Genovia's and her own future hanging in the balance, Mia's got some decisions to make: Which college? Which guy? How can she choose? Especially when what she decides might determine not just the next four years, but... forever!
In the wilds of Topanga Canyon, Cassie Shaw is right at home with the call of birds, the sound of wind in the trees, and the harmony of a world without people. But everywhere else, life is a little harder for Cassie. Her mother believes in Big Foot, and her wisecracking pet parrot is a drama queen. At the age of thirty, newly single and without a college degree, Cassie desperately needs a decent paycheck.
Which is why, against all her principles, she lies on her rĂŠsumĂŠ for an office job at an elite universityâand then finds herself employed in academia by two professors who are as rare as the birds she covets. One of her new bosses is Professor William Conner, a sexy, handsome, cheerfully aristocratic expert in animal behavior. Soon, under Connerâs charismatic tutelage, Cassie carefully begins her personal transformation while meeting the kind of people who donât flock to wildlife preservesâfrom impossibly brilliant academics to adorably spoiled college boys.
But her futureâand unlikely new careerâis teetering on one unbearable untruth. And Cassieâs masquerade is about to come undone in a chain of events that will transform her lifeâand the lives of those around herâforever.
A novel for late bloomers of every exotic shade and stripe, A Version of the Truth is pure entertainmentâat once hilarious and wry, lyrical and uplifting.
Life is reasonably rosy for plus-size ex-pop star turned Assistant Dormitory Director and sometime sleuth, Heather Wells. Her freeloading ex-con dad is finally moving out. She still yearns for her hot landlord, Cooper Cartwright, but her relationship with "rebound beau," vigorous vegan math professor Tad Tocco, is more than satisfactory.
Best of all, nobody has died lately in "Death Dorm," the aptly nicknamed student residence that Heather assistant-directs. Of course, every silver lining ultimately has some black cloud attached. And when the latest murdered corpse to clutter up her jurisdiction turns out to be her exceedingly unlovable boss, Heather finds herself on the shortlist of prime suspectsâalong with the rabble-rousing boyfriend of her high-strung student assistant and an indecently handsome young campus minister who's been accused of taking liberties with certain girls' choir members.
With fame beckoning her back into show business (as the star of a new kids' show!), it's a really bad time to get wrapped up in another homicide. Plus, Tad's been working himself up to ask her a Big Question, which Heather's not sure she has an answer for...
Thatâs right, folks! Put down the video game controller! Skip that rehearsal for your band! Make whatever sacrifices you must to those comic gods you hold so dear! Just make sure youâre ready because Bryan Lee OâMalley and SCOTT PILGRIM are back!
Well, a couple months have passed since the last time we caught up with our intrepid hero, but what can change in a few short months? Well, not much has... Scottâs still living with his roommate Wallace Wells. Heâs still playing in a mediocre rock band named Sex Bob-omb. And most importantly, heâs still dating the lovely Ramona Flowers while working his way through the gaggle of superpowered, superstylish, superevil ex-boyfriends determined to take him down.
But something is different. Donât look now, but Scott Pilgrim may actually be getting it together. And itâs a good thing, too, because Scott is about to confront Ramonaâs most intimidating ex yet!
Stephen Hawking, author of the multi-million copy bestselling A Brief History of Time, and his daughter Lucy explain the universe to readers of all ages. George's parents, who have always been wary of technology, warn him about their new neighbors: Eric is a scientist and his daughter, Annie, seems to be following in his footsteps.
But when George befriends them and Cosmos, their super-computer, he finds himself on a wildly fun adventure, while learning about physics, time, and the universe. With Cosmos's help, he can travel to other planets and a black hole. But what would happen if the wrong people got their hands on Cosmos?
George, Annie, and Eric aren't about to find out, and what ensues is a funny adventure that clearly explains the mysteries of science. Garry Parsons' energetic illustrations add humor and interest, and his scientific drawings add clarity; there are also eight 4-page full-color inserts of scientific photos.
In this action-packed conclusion to the Starcatchers trilogy, Peter and Molly find themselves in the dangerous land of Rundoon, ruled by the evil King Zarboff, who takes great delight in watching his pet snake, Kundalini, consume anyone who displeases him. But that's just the start of the trouble facing our heroes, who once again find themselves pitted against the evil shadow creature Lord Ombra, in a struggle to save themselves and Molly's father - not to mention the entire planet - from an unthinkable end.
Meanwhile, back in Never Land, a tribal war is under way, and while Peter is off fighting to save the world, a young Mollusk princess has no choice but to join forces with sinister pirates to save her island from the vicious Scorpions.
Peter and the Secret of Rundoon is a wild desert adventure - with flying camels, magic carpets, and evil shadows - that literally zooms toward an unforgettable and unimaginable climax. Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson have teamed together once again to pen a story with unrelenting action and adventure that can be enjoyed by readers of all ages.
In this full-color graphic novel, Jason posits a strange, violent world in which contract killers can be hired to rub out pests, be they dysfunctional relatives, abusive co-workers, loud neighbors, or just annoyances in general â and as you might imagine, their services are in heavy demand.
One such killer is given the unique job of traveling back in time to kill Adolf Hitler in 1939... but things go spectacularly wrong.
Congratulations--just by opening the cover of this book you became 25% more patriotic. From Stephen Colbert, the host of television's highest-rated punditry show The Colbert Report, comes the book to fill the other 23½ hours of your day. I Am America (And So Can You!) contains all of the opinions that Stephen doesn't have time to shoehorn into his nightly broadcast.
Dictated directly into a microcassette recorder over a three-day weekend, this book contains Stephen's most deeply held knee-jerk beliefs on The American Family, Race, Religion, Sex, Sports, and many more topics, conveniently arranged in chapter form.
Always controversial and outspoken, Stephen addresses why Hollywood is destroying America by inches, why evolution is a fraud, and why the elderly should be harnessed to millstones. You may not agree with everything Stephen says, but at the very least, you'll understand that your differing opinion is wrong.
I Am America (And So Can You!) showcases Stephen Colbert at his most eloquent and impassioned. He is an unrelenting fighter for the soul of America, and in this book he fights the good fight for the traditional values that have served this country so well for so long.
From the bestselling author of The Know-It-All comes a fascinating and timely exploration of religion and the Bible. Raised in a secular family but increasingly interested in the relevance of faith in our modern world, A.J. Jacobs decides to dive in headfirst and attempt to obey the Bible as literally as possible for one full year.
He vows to follow the Ten Commandments, to be fruitful and multiply, to love his neighbor, but also to obey the hundreds of less publicized rules: to avoid wearing clothes made of mixed fibers, to play a ten-string harp, to stone adulterers.
The resulting spiritual journey is at once funny and profound, reverent and irreverent, personal and universal, and will make you see history's most influential book with new eyes.
Jacobs's quest transforms his life even more radically than the year spent reading the entire Encyclopedia Britannica for The Know-It-All. His beard grows so unruly that he is regularly mistaken for a member of ZZ Top. He immerses himself in prayer, tends sheep in the Israeli desert, battles idolatry, and tells the absolute truth in all situationsâmuch to his wife's chagrin.
Throughout the book, Jacobs also embeds himself in a cross-section of communities that take the Bible literally. He tours a Kentucky-based creationist museum and sings hymns with Pennsylvania Amish, dances with Hasidic Jews in Brooklyn, and does Scripture study with Jehovah's Witnesses. He discovers ancient biblical wisdom of startling relevance and wrestles with seemingly archaic rules that baffle the twenty-first-century brain.
Jacobs's extraordinary undertaking yields unexpected epiphanies and challenges. A book that will charm readers both secular and religious, The Year of Living Biblically is part Cliff Notes to the Bible, part memoir, and part look into worlds unimaginable. Thou shalt not be able to put it down.
The Princess Bride is a timeless tale that pits country against country, good against evil, love against hate. This incredible journey and artfully rendered love story is peppered with strange beasties monstrous and gentle, memorable surprises both terrible and sublime, and such unforgettable characters as:
Westley, the handsome farm boy who risks death (and much worse) for the woman he loves; Inigo, the Spanish swordsman who lives only to avenge his father's death; Fezzik, the gentlest giant ever to have uprooted a tree with his bear hands; Vizzini, the evil Sicilian, with a mind so keen he's foiled by his own perfect logic; Prince Humperdinck, the eviler ruler of Guilder, who has an equally insatiable thirst for war and beauteous Buttercup; Count Rugen, the evilest man of all, who thrives on the excruciating pain of others; Miracle Max, the King's ex-Miracle Man, who can raise the dead (kind of); and, of course, Buttercup... the princess bride, the most perfect, beautiful woman in the history of the world!
In 2001, audiences first met and fell in love with a twelve-year-old criminal mastermind named Artemis Fowl. Since then, the series has sold over seven million copies in the United States alone. Now, this phenomenally successful series is being translated into a graphic novel format.
Eoin Colfer has teamed up with established comic writer Andrew Donkin to adapt the text. For the first time, rabid fans will be able to see what Foaly's tin hat looks like; discover just how "Beet" Root got his name; and of course, follow their favorite criminal mastermind as he plots and connives in action-packed, full-color panels.
What's happening in New York City?
Giant Squirrels. A Haunted Mansion. Six fierce friends with fiercer secrets.
Ananka is in danger of being sent to a remote boarding school; Kiki's life (as always) is in danger, Betty seems to have found love in all the wrong places, and Oona... well, Oona's the one in the most serious trouble of all.
From Chinatown to Fifth Avenue, whether they are rescuing kidnapped children or resuscitating an ancient Empress at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Irregulars have a knack for finding trouble, and putting it out of its misery.
Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians is the first adventure in a fantasy series for young readers by the #1 New York Times bestselling author Brandon Sanderson. The fast-paced and funny series is now available in deluxe hardcover editions illustrated by Hayley Lazo.
On his thirteenth birthday, foster child Alcatraz Smedry gets a bag of sand in the mail - his only inheritance from his father and mother. He soon learns that this is no ordinary bag of sand. It is quickly stolen by the cult of evil Librarians who are taking over the world by spreading misinformation and suppressing truth. Alcatraz must stop them, using the only weapon he has: an incredible talent for breaking things.
"One of you shall have her, and my fortune into the bargain"
Such was the whimsical, some would say outrageous, statement of the ageing Mr. Penicuik, to the three of his great-nephews gathered around him. The future of his vivacious step-daughter, Miss Kitty Charing, was thus assured, provided she married one of the handsome beaux now seeking her hand. But Kitty was in no hurry to conclude such a contract. By hook or by crook, she meant to go to London, where anything might happen and very often did...
The three great-nephews of irascible Mr. Matthew Penicuik know better than to ignore his summons, especially when it concerns the bestowal of his fortune. The wily old gentleman has hatched a freakish plan for his country-bred stepdaughter's future: his fortune will be lovely Catherine Charing's dowry if she marries one of his great-nephews.
To spirited Kitty, the conditions of her guardian's will before she could inherit a tuppence were intolerable. In spite of the unwelcome attentions of greedy suitors, who are scrambling for her hand, Kitty is not wholly averse, but only if the right cousin proposes. Unfortunately, Kitty during her secluded life pining, has set her heart on handsome and virile Jack Westruther, a confirmed rake. Jack, who is well aware of her attachment, however, made it quite clear that he would marry her only when he had sown his last wild oat and seems to have no inclination to marry her anytime soon.
But Kitty has other ideas... and anxious to hasten matters, she devises a plan. Kitty convinces modest and carefree cousin Frederick Standen to pose as her fiancĂŠ, hoping thereby to make Jack jealous and to see a little more of the world than her isolated life on her great-uncle's estate has afforded her.
Her plan takes her to visit Freddy's family in London, where her kith and kin embroil her in their romantic troubles, sprinkling witty banter with Parisian phrases. Cousin Lord Foster Dolphinton has fallen for a merchant's daughter in conflict with his mother. Meanwhile, her French cousin, Camille, a professional gambler, tries to win the heart of beautiful Olivia Broughty, in turn the object of cousin Jack's dishonorable intentions. Resourceful cousin Freddie turned out to be more of a man than Kitty anticipated. And when Kitty's generous heart leads to all sorts of unintended troubles, there is only one man who can rescue her from more than one dreadful fix and pick up the pieces of her plotting.
Now, Kitty herself wonders who is really right for her....
Rick Dockery was the third-string quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. In the AFC Championship game against Denver, to the surprise and dismay of virtually everyone, Rick actually got into the game. With a 17-point lead and just minutes to go, Rick provided what was arguably the worst single performance in the history of the NFL. Overnight, he became a national laughingstock and, of course, was immediately cut by the Browns and shunned by all other teams.
But all Rick knows is football, and he insists that his agent, Arnie, find a team that needs him. Against enormous odds, Arnie finally locates just such a team and informs Rick that, miraculously, he can in fact now be a starting quarterback â for the mighty Panthers of Parma, Italy.
Yes, Italians do play American football, to one degree or another, and the Parma Panthers desperately want a former NFL player â any former NFL player â at their helm. So Rick reluctantly agrees to play for the Panthers â at least until a better offer comes along â and heads off to Italy. He knows nothing about Parma, has never been to Europe, and doesnât speak or understand a word of Italian.
To say that Italy holds a few surprises for Rick Dockery would be something of an understatement.
It's an offer you can't refuse. Who would not wish to be the man in charge of Ankh-Morpork's Royal Mint and the bank next door? It's a job for life. But, as former con-man Moist von Lipwig is learning, the life is not necessarily for long.
The Chief Cashier is almost certainly a vampire. There's something nameless in the cellar (and the cellar itself is pretty nameless), it turns out that the Royal Mint runs at a loss. A 300 year old wizard is after his girlfriend, he's about to be exposed as a fraud, but the Assassins Guild might get him first. In fact, a lot of people want him dead. Oh. And every day he has to take the Chairman for walkies. Everywhere he looks he's making enemies.
What he should be doing is... Making Money!
The intrepid Jacky Faber, having once again eluded British authorities, heads west, hoping that no one will recognize her in the wilds of America. There she tricks the tall-tale hero Mike Fink out of his flatboat, equips it as a floating casino-showboat, and heads south to New Orleans, battling murderous bandits, British soldiers, and other scoundrels along the way.
Will Jacky's carelessness and impulsive actions ultimately cause her beloved Jaimy to be left in her wake? Bold, daring, and downright fun, Jacky Faber proves once again that with resilience and can-do spirit, she can wiggle out of any scrape... well, almost.
Charlie Bucket's wonderful adventure begins when he finds one of Mr. Willy Wonka's precious Golden Tickets and wins a whole day inside the mysterious chocolate factory. Little does he know the surprises that are in store for him!
Now that Charlie has won the chocolate factory, what's next? Even wilder adventures, that's what! Join him, Grandpa Joe, and, of course, Willy Wonka for the amazing, intergalactic sequel to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!
Taking up where the previous story leaves off, Charlie, his family, and Mr. Wonka find themselves launched into space in the great glass elevator. They explore the worldâs first space hotel, battle the dreaded Vermicious Knids, and even save the world on this remarkable, intergalactic joyride.
How do you outwit a Twit? Mr. and Mrs. Twit are the smelliest, ugliest people in the world. They hate everything -- except playing mean jokes on each other, catching innocent birds to put in their Bird Pies, and making their caged monkeys, the Muggle-Wumps, stand on their heads all day. But the Muggle-Wumps have had enough. They don't just want out, they want revenge.
Fourth Comings, the fourth installment in the beloved, New York Times bestselling series by Megan McCafferty, captures the life of Jessica Darling as she navigates her early twenties in New York City. With a degree in psychology, Jessica works for a magazine and lives with her best friend, Hope, in a shared apartment affectionately dubbed the 'Cupcake.' Their Brooklyn neighborhood, more suited to 'breeders,' is also home to their high school friend, Manda, and Manda's 'genderqueer boifriend.'
Although Jessica's freelance work barely makes a dent in her student loans, she finds unexpected joys in babysitting her niece and the vibrant city lifeâfull of literary parties, art openings, and downtown karaoke. Yet, it's her tumultuous relationship with Marcus Flutie that leaves Jessica most unsettled. As Marcus starts his freshman year at Princeton at twenty-three, he proposes to Jessica, giving her one week to decide. This proposal sets off a week of introspection, unexpected wisdom, and surprising revelationsâincluding insights from a talk show shrink, a drag queen named Royalle G. Biv, and her own parents.
As Jessica considers whether to embrace her current, imperfect life or to upend it for a future with Marcus in New Jersey, she ponders with her characteristic snark and sharp insight. This pivotal week becomes the most tumultuous and memorable of her life, challenging her perceptions and the very choices that define her.
Gold Pen Award-winning author ReShonda Tate Billingsley returns to the Houston congregation of her #1 Essence magazine bestseller, Let the Church Say Amen, in this warm and powerful sequel.
When her husband hears God's call to become a preacher, Rachel Jackson Adams is distressed. She grew up a preacher's daughter and knows how difficult life under the microscope can be for a reverend's family. But hot-headed Rachel has toned down her wild ways, and for the sake of her marriage and her two children, she is now the reluctant first lady of Zion Hill, unafraid to rock the boat with her unconventional ideas for revitalizing the church.
When her son, Jordan, begins fighting at school, Rachel turns to the boy's father, BobbyâRachel's first love from years ago. Married now himself, there should be nothing between them except their concern for Jordanâso why does seeing Bobby again feel so distractingly tempting?
With her brothers facing dramas of their own, and her father, Reverend Simon Jackson, recovering from illness, Rachel must listen carefully to discover what God truly wants for herâand to decide if Bobby is the lover of her dreams or the devil in disguise.
Presenting by popular demand one of the most anticipated collections! The legendary artist Carl Barks created Scrooge McDuck and chronicled many of his most popular adventures. In addition to superb storytelling and wonderful entertainment, he left behind a character who was not only rich in his stories, but one for whom the stories themselves were rich.
Modern master Don Rosa, beginning in 1994, undertook the task of recounting Uncle Scrooge's past in a serialized epic. The wonderful result of his efforts is now collected in trade paperback form by Gemstone Publishing as THE LIFE & TIMES OF SCROOGE McDUCK.
A collection of the celebrated 12-part series that details the life of the young Uncle Scrooge. The story was originally serialized in the United States in Uncle Scrooge comics. Now it has been collected in one all-encompassing popularly-priced volume.
When you donât talk, thereâs a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said. Harsh words indeed, from Brian Nelson of all people. But, D. J. canât help admitting, maybe heâs right. When you donât talk, thereâs a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said.
Stuff like why her best friend, Amber, isnât so friendly anymore. Or why her little brother, Curtis, never opens his mouth. Why her mom has two jobs and a big secret. Why her college-football-star brothers wonât even call home. Why her dad would go ballistic if she tried out for the high school football team herself. And why Brian is so, so out of her league.
Welcome to the summer that fifteen-year-old D. J. Schwenk of Red Bend, Wisconsin, learns to talk, and ends up having an awful lot of stuff to say.
New secrets, old flames, and hidden agendas are about to send bounty hunter Stephanie Plum on her most outrageous adventure yet!
MISTAKE #1: Dickie Orr. Stephanie was married to him for about fifteen minutes before she caught him cheating on her with her arch-nemesis, Joyce Barnhardt. Another fifteen minutes after that, Stephanie filed for divorce, hoping to never see either one of them again.
MISTAKE #2: Doing favors for super bounty hunter Carlos Manoso (a.k.a. Ranger). Ranger needs her to meet with Dickie and find out if he's doing something shady. Turns out, he is. Turns out, he's also back to doing Joyce Barnhardt. And it turns out Ranger's favors always come with a price...
MISTAKE #3: Going completely nutso while doing the favor for Ranger, and trying to apply bodily injury to Dickie in front of the entire office. Now Dickie has disappeared, and Stephanie is the natural suspect in his disappearance. Is Dickie dead? Can he be found? And can Stephanie Plum stay one step ahead in this new, dangerous game?
Joe Morelli, the hottest cop in Trenton, NJ, is also keeping Stephanie on her toesâand he may know more than he's saying about many things in Stephanie's life. It's a cat-and-mouse game for Stephanie Plum, where the ultimate prize might be her life.
With Janet Evanovich's flair for hilarious situations, breathtaking action, and unforgettable characters, LEAN MEAN THIRTEEN shows why no one can beat Evanovich for blockbuster entertainment.
Jane Hayes is a seemingly normal young New Yorker, but she has a secret. Her obsession with Mr. Darcy, as played by Colin Firth in the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, is ruining her love life: no real man can compare. But when a wealthy relative bequeaths her a trip to an English resort catering to Austen-crazed women, Jane's fantasies of meeting the perfect Regency-era gentleman suddenly become realer than she ever could have imagined.
Decked out in empire-waist gowns, Jane struggles to master Regency etiquette and flirts with gardeners and gentlemen; or maybe even, she suspects, with the actors who are playing them. It's all a game, Jane knows. And yet the longer she stays, the more her insecurities seem to fall away, and the more she wonders: Is she about to kick the Austen obsession for good, or could all her dreams actually culminate in a Mr. Darcy of her own?
In this Newbery Honor-winning novel, Gary D. Schmidt offers an unforgettable antihero. The Wednesday Wars is a wonderfully witty and compelling story about a teenage boyâs mishaps and adventures over the course of the 1967â68 school year in Long Island, New York.
Meet Holling Hoodhood, a seventh-grader at Camillo Junior High, who must spend Wednesday afternoons with his teacher, Mrs. Baker, while the rest of the class has religious instruction. Mrs. Baker doesnât like Hollingâheâs sure of it. Why else would she make him read the plays of William Shakespeare outside class?
But everyone has bigger things to worry about, like Vietnam. His father wants Holling and his sister to be on their best behavior: the success of his business depends on it. But how can Holling stay out of trouble when he has so much to contend with? A bully demanding cream puffs; angry rats; and a baseball hero signing autographs the very same night Holling has to appear in a play in yellow tights!
As fate sneaks up on him again and again, Holling finds Motivationâthe Big Mâin the most unexpected places and musters up the courage to embrace his destiny, in spite of himself.