Maik Klingenberg is a fourteen-year-old boy left to spend his summer vacation alone at his family's villa, as his mother is in rehab and his father is away on a business trip with his assistant. Everything changes when Tschick, whose real name is Andrej Tschichatschow, arrives. Tschick, from the high-rise apartments in Hellersdorf, has somehow made it from a special education school to a gymnasium, and brings along a stolen car.

Thus begins an adventurous journey without a map or compass through the sun-drenched German provinces, reminiscent of the river journey of Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. They head towards the vast world, with their destination randomly set to Wallachia, where Tschick's uncle supposedly lives.

Right before the start of freshman year, Emma’s family unexpectedly moves to England. The book club members are stunned—but thanks to videoconferencing, they can still keep the club alive. They decide to tackle Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. And when the girls try to bring Emma home by starting a bake sale, it becomes a thriving business: Pies & Prejudice.

But when the plan they cook up falls short, they are left wondering if their club will ever all be together again….

Life’s no fairy tale for Jack. After all, his father's been missing ever since that incident with the beanstalk and the giant, and his grandfather keeps pushing him to get out and find a princess to rescue.

Who'd want to rescue a snobby, entitled princess anyway? Especially one that falls out of the sky wearing a shirt that says "Punk Princess," and still denies she's royalty. In fact, May doesn't even believe in magic. Yeah, what's that about?

May does need help though—a huntsman is chasing her, her grandmother has been kidnapped, and Jack thinks it’s all because of the Wicked Queen... mostly because May’s grandmother might just be the long-lost Snow White.

Jack and May's thrillingly hilarious adventure combines all the classic stories—fractured as a broken magic mirror—into the first of an epic new series of novels for the ages.

Annie and Duncan are a mid-thirties couple who have reached a fork in the road, realizing their shared interest in the reclusive musician Tucker Crowe (in Duncan's case, an obsession rather than an interest) is not enough to hold them together anymore. When Annie dislikes Tucker's 'new release', a terrible demo of his most famous album, it's the last straw - Duncan cheats on her, and she promptly throws him out.

Via an internet discussion forum, Annie's harsh opinion reaches Tucker himself, who couldn't agree more. He and Annie start an unlikely correspondence which teaches them both something about moving on from years of wasted time. Nick Hornby's compelling new novel, four years after A Long Way Down, is about the nature of creativity and obsession, and how two lonely people can gradually find each other.

Museum of the Weird is a stunning collection of stories that reveal wondrous play and surreal humor.

A monogrammed cube appears in your town. Your landlord cheats you out of first place in the annual Christmas decorating contest. You need to learn how to love and care for your mate—a paring knife. These situations and more reveal the wondrous play and surreal humor that make up the stories in Amelia Gray’s stunning collection.

Acerbic wit and luminous prose mark these shorts, while sickness and death lurk amidst the humor. Characters find their footing in these bizarre scenarios and manage to fall into redemption and rebirth. Museum of the Weird invites you into its hallways, then beguiles, bewitches, and reveals a writer who has discovered a manner of storytelling all her own.

Following the shocking revelations of DARK DAYS, get ready for the fifth instalment of the bestselling Skulduggery Pleasant series -- guaranteed to contain at least 40% humour, 50% action, and 100% thrills!

The blonde girl with the black lips turned to Valkyrie. 'We know,' she said. 'We've seen the future. We know you're going to kill the world!' Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain are back -- just in time to see their whole world get turned upside down! While they struggle to protect a known killer from an unstoppable assassin, Valkyrie is on a secret mission of her own. This quest, to prevent her dark and murderous destiny, threatens to take her to the brink of death and beyond. And then the body-snatching Remnants get loose, thousands of twisted souls who possess the living like puppets, and they begin their search for a being powerful enough to lead them. Facing such insurmountable odds, Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Ghastly and Tanith can trust no one. Not even each other!

It's the beginning of senior year and Yuki's psychic awareness of ghostly spirits is threatening to ruin her life. Her ability to sense spirits of the dead isn't glamorous like the ghost hunting on television. SHE SMELLS THE DEAD.

The smell impressions are becoming stronger. Yuki is being visited in her dreams, and she suspects that her friend Calvin is involved in something strange. To make matters worse, her crush on Garrett is going unrequited, Yuki's friend Emma is on a rampage against bee oppression, and Calvin Miller mysteriously disappears.

Will Yuki be able to focus her powers in time to save the lost soul who is haunting her? Meanwhile, who will save Yuki from following the spirits into the light?

Mean Girls meets Middle School in The Clique... The only thing harder than getting in, is staying in.

Enter Claire Lyons, the new girl from Florida in Keds and two-year-old Gap overalls, who is clearly not Clique material. Unfortunately for her, while they look for a new home, Claire's family is staying in the guesthouse of the one and only Massie Block -- Queen Bee of Octavian Country Day School. Claire's future looks worse than a bad Prada knockoff. But with a little luck and a lot of scheming, Claire might just come up smelling like Chanel No. 19.

Meet the rest of the Clique:

Massie Block - With her glossy brunette bob and laser-whitened smile, Massie is the uncontested ruler of The Clique and the rest of the social scene at Octavian Country Day School, an exclusive private girls' school in Westchester County, New York. Massie knows you'd give anything to be just like her.

Dylan Marvil - Massie's second in command who divides her time between sucking up to Massie and sucking down Atkins Diet shakes.

Alicia Rivera - As sneaky as she is beautiful, Alicia floats easily under adult radar because she seems so "sweet." Would love to take Massie's throne one day. Just might.

Kristen Gregory - She's smart, hardworking, and will insult you to tears faster than you can say "my haircut isn't ugly!"

The Mezzanine is a startlingly inventive and witty novel that takes a seemingly mundane ride on an office escalator and transforms it into a brilliant exploration of everyday life. As the narrator returns to work after buying shoelaces, Baker lends the associative richness of Marcel Proust's madeleines to everyday objects like milk cartons and shoelaces.

This novel delves into the eight most significant advances in a human life, starting with the simple act of shoe-tying. It poses intriguing questions, like whether hot air blowers in bathrooms are indeed more sanitary than towels, and casts a dazzling light on our relationships with the objects and people we often take for granted.

Baker's unconventional, conversational style and sharp storytelling turn the ordinary into the extraordinary, making The Mezzanine a celebration of reflection and the importance of everyday human experiences.

A Dog's Purpose—the #1 New York Times bestseller and major motion picture—is a perfect gift to introduce dog lovers to this wonderful series. Based on the beloved bestselling novel by W. Bruce Cameron, A Dog's Purpose, from director Lasse Hallström (The Cider House Rules, Dear John, The 100-Foot Journey), shares the soulful and surprising story of one devoted dog (voiced by Josh Gad) who finds the meaning of his own existence through the lives of the humans he teaches to laugh and love. The family film told from the dog’s perspective also stars Britt Robertson, KJ Apa, John Ortiz, Peggy Lipton, Juliet Rylance, Luke Kirby, Pooch Hall and Dennis Quaid. A Dog's Purpose is produced by Gavin Polone (Zombieland, TV’s Gilmore Girls). The film from Amblin Entertainment and Walden Media will be distributed by Universal Pictures. Screenplay by W. Bruce Cameron & Cathryn Michon and Audrey Wells and Maya Forbes & Wally Wolodarsky.

Heartwarming, insightful, and often laugh-out-loud funny, A Dog's Purpose is not only the emotional and hilarious story of a dog's many lives, but also a dog's-eye commentary on human relationships and the unbreakable bonds between man and man's best friend. This moving and beautifully crafted story teaches us that love never dies, that our true friends are always with us, and that every creature on earth is born with a purpose.

First published in Paris in 1955 and originally banned in America, J. P. Donleavy's first novel is now recognized the world over as a masterpiece and a modern classic of the highest order.

Set in Ireland just after World War II, The Ginger Man is J. P. Donleavy's wildly funny, picaresque classic novel of the misadventures of Sebastian Dangerfield, a young American ne'er-do-well studying at Trinity College in Dublin.

Dangerfield's appetite for women, liquor, and general roguishness is insatiable—and he satisfies it with endless charm.

Narrator Phoebe Castor, 17, a descendant of the goddess Nike, cannot control her powers and fears her boyfriend Griffin is returning to his ex-girlfriend Adara. Her stepfather, Damian, who is the principal of the Academy for divine descendants, must enroll Phoebe in a summer Boot Camp designed for ten-year-old girls.

Can Adara and camp counselor stepsister Stella train her in time to pass the test? It's not going to be easy to survive camp, train for the Pythian Games, and keep her romance with Griffin going strong, but goddess help her, Phoebe is determined to make it work!

It's been centuries since Isabeau St. Croix barely survived the French Revolution. Now she's made her way back to the living, and she must face the ultimate test by confronting the evil British lord who left her for dead the day she turned into a vampire. That's if she can control her affection for Logan Drake, a vampire whose bite is as sweet as the revenge she seeks.

The clans are gathering for Helena's royal coronation as the next vampire queen, and new alliances are beginning to form now that the old rifts of Lady Natasha's reign have started to heal. But with a new common enemy, Leander Montmarte—a vicious leader who hopes to force Solange to marry him and usurp the power of the throne for himself—the clans must stand together to preserve the peace he threatens to destroy.

This second adventure in the Drake Chronicles—told from both Logan's and Isabeau's perspectives—has all the same butt-kicking action, heart-pounding romances, and snarky humor that readers loved in Hearts at Stake, as well as exciting new revelations about the vampire dynasties to keep readers coming back for more.

In his hilarious yet disturbing (because it's so true) book Creepiosity: A Hilarious Guide to the Unintentionally Creepy, comedy writer David Bickel presents readers with 100 of the most unsettling everyday things, such as grown men in Boy Scout uniforms, old ladies with really long hair, fish with people faces, lifelike baby dolls, and much more.

Bickel infuses each subject with comedic insight into what exactly makes it creepy and provides an appropriately hilarious photo to help illustrate his point.

And since not all creepiness is created equal, Bickel has invented an unnecessarily complex mathematical formula (or Creepiosity Index, if you will) to quantify each unsettling item's relative creepiness. (Band-Aids that were once affixed to someone's body but now aren't: 7.454.)

However, Bickel also acknowledges that creepiness, universal as it may be, is far from absolute. To that end, he invites readers to assign their own Creepiosity number to these and other curiosities via a companion Web site.

(For example, what's more disturbing, hairless cats or Dick Cheney smiling? You decide!)

Mishna Wolff grew up in a poor black neighborhood with her single father, a white man who truly believed he was black.

“He strutted around with a short perm, a Cosby-esqe sweater, gold chains and a Kangol—telling jokes like Redd Fox, and giving advice like Jesse Jackson. You couldn’t tell my father he was white. Believe me, I tried,” writes Wolff.

From early childhood, her father began his crusade to make his white daughter Down. Unfortunately, Mishna didn’t quite fit in with the neighborhood kids: she couldn’t dance, she couldn’t sing, she couldn’t double dutch and she was the worst player on her all-black basketball team. She was shy, uncool, and painfully white.

Yet, when she was suddenly sent to a rich white school, she found she was too “black” to fit in with her white classmates.

I’m Down is a hip, hysterical, and at the same time, beautiful memoir that will have you howling with laughter, recommending it to friends, and questioning what it means to be black and white in America.

Ten years after Blayne Thorpe first encountered Bo Novikov, she still can't get the smooth-talking shifter out of her head. Now he's shadowing her in New York—all seven-plus feet of him—determined to protect her from stalkers who want to use her in shifter dogfights. Even if he has to drag her off to an isolated Maine town where the only neighbors are other bears almost as crazy as he is.

Let sleeping dogs lie. Bo knows it's good advice, but he can't leave Blayne be. Blame it on her sweet sexiness—or his hunch that there's more to this little wolfdog than meets the eye. Blayne has depths he hasn't yet begun to fathom—much as he'd like to. She may insist Bo's nothing but a pain in her delectable behind, but polar bears have patience in spades. Soon she'll realize how good they can be together. And when she does, animal instinct tells him it'll be worth the wait.

Let the debate begin... The Advanced Genius Theory, hatched by Jason Hartley and Britt Bergman over pizza, began as a means to explain why icons such as Lou Reed, David Bowie, and Sting seem to go from artistic brilliance in their early careers to "losing it" as they grow older. The Theory proposes that they don’t actually lose it, but rather, their work simply advances beyond our comprehension.

The ramifications and departures of this argument are limitless, and so are the examples worth considering, such as George Lucas’s Jar Jar Binks, Stanley Kubrick’s fascination with coffee commercials, and the last few decades of Paul McCartney’s career. With equal doses of humor and philosophy, theorist Jason Hartley examines music, literature, sports, politics, and the very meaning of taste, presenting an entirely new way to appreciate the pop culture we love... and sometimes think we hate.

The Advanced Genius Theory is a manifesto that takes on the least understood work by the most celebrated figures of our time.

Based on the award-winning blog 1000 Awesome Things, The Book of Awesome is a delightful celebration of life’s little moments that make us smile. With a 24/7 news cycle reporting on global challenges, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. However, awesome things are all around us, and sometimes we just need a reminder to notice them.

Here are some of the simple pleasures highlighted in the book:

• Popping Bubble Wrap
• Wearing underwear just out of the dryer
• Fixing electronics by smacking them
• Getting called up to the dinner buffet first at a wedding
• Watching The Price Is Right when you're home sick
• Hitting a bunch of green lights in a row
• Waking up and realizing it's Saturday

With laugh-out-loud observations from award-winning comedy writer Neil Pasricha, The Book of Awesome is filled with smile-inducing moments on every page. It reminds us of all the little things we often overlook but that make us feel like kids looking at the world for the first time. Read it and you'll remember all the things there are to feel good about. AWESOME!

One cold night, in a most unlikely corner of Chicago, two teens—both named Will Grayson—are about to cross paths. As their worlds collide and intertwine, the Will Graysons find their lives going in new and unexpected directions, building toward romantic turns-of-heart and the epic production of history’s most fabulous high school musical.

Hilarious, poignant, and deeply insightful, John Green and David Levithan’s collaborative novel is brimming with a double helping of the heart and humor that have won them both legions of faithful fans.

When Desi Bascomb gets discovered by the elite Facade Agency–royalty surrogates extraordinaire–her life goes from glamour-starved to spectacular in a blink. As her new agent, Meredith, explains, Desi has a rare magical ability: when she applies the ancient Egyptian formula “Royal Rouge,” she can transform temporarily into the exact lookalike of any princess who needs her subbing services. Dream come true, right?

Well, Desi soon discovers that subbing involves a lot more than wearing a tiara and waving at cameras. Like, what do you do when a bullying older sister puts you on a heinous crash diet? Or when the tribal villagers gather to watch you perform a ceremonial dance you don’t know? Or when a princess’s conflicted sweetheart shows up to break things off–and you know she would want you to change his mind?

In this hilarious series debut, one girl’s dream of glamour transforms into something bigger: the desire to make a positive impact. And an impact Desi makes, one royal fiasco at a time.

Twelve-year-old Delilah James is one of the top reporters at Brighton Junior Academy and dreams of becoming a Junior Global Journalist.

But when an international rival named Ava invades her newsroom and takes over her crush, Delilah finds an unlikely ally in the Debutantes - a.k.a. the Little Debbies.

Will Delilah manage to become a Junior Global Journalist and win over the boy, or will she find herself to be yesterday’s news?

In the tradition of The Official Preppy Handbook, The Uptight Seattleite is the Stephen Colbert of left-wing satire.

The author of the wildly popular Seattle Weekly advice column teaches Americans everywhere how to embrace their inner leftist. Artfully balancing the cosmic with the cosmopolitan, the Uptight Seattleite (aka Adrian) delights his loyal readers each week with snide insight on everything from fashion (Can I pull off a Rasta beret?) to ear-bud etiquette.

In A Sensitive Liberal's Guide to Life, he brings his savvy smugness to his widest audience yet, on topics such as the hierarchy of transportation righteousness (what to do with the clunky old Subaru after purchasing a Prius) and ethical behavior at the grocery store, including how to handle the horror of forgetting to bring your reusable burlap sack.

Other day-to-day advice covers what to read on the bus (Vonnegut versus The Kite Runner versus The Economist) and feasting at the buffet of diversity, with tips for shooting a condescending smile at those who don't know how to use chopsticks.

The Uptight Seattleite also helps readers navigate the big issues, such as responsible parenting (which calls for a mini-landfill kit, perfect for the backyard and ready to be stuffed with environmentally unfriendly diapers).

For every insecure liberal - and those who love to make fun of them - the Uptight Seattleite offers us laughs from the pinnacle of political correctness.

Fate has thrown two sworn enemies...

Of all the hotel rooms rented by all the adulterous politicians in Chicago, female Assistant U.S. Attorney Cameron Lynde had to choose the one next to 1308, where some hot-and-heavy lovemaking ends with a death. And of all the FBI agents in Illinois, it had to be Special Agent Jack Pallas who gets assigned to this high-profile homicide. The same Jack Pallas who still blames Cameron for a botched crackdown three years ago—and for nearly ruining his career.

Into each other's arms...

Work with Cameron Lynde? Are they kidding? Maybe, Jack thinks, this is some kind of welcome-back prank after his stint away from Chicago. But it's no joke; the pair is going to have to put their rocky past behind them and focus on the case at hand. That is, if they can cut back on the razor-sharp jibes—and smother the flame of their sizzling-hot sexual tension.

A humorous look at what it means to FINALLY turn twelve years old.

You can pierce your ears when you're twelve. You can go to the mall with your friends when you're twelve. You can babysit little Timmy next door when you're twelve. You can get a cell phone when you're twelve. Hey, you can even ride in the front passenger-side seat when you're twelve.

When you're twelve, when you're twelve, when you're twelve...

My name is Rory Swenson, and I've been waiting to turn twelve my whole life. In exactly 18 hours, 36 minutes, and 52 seconds, it will finally happen. My life will officially begin.

The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place are no ordinary children, and Miss Penelope Lumley is no ordinary governess. Mysteries abound in this first volume in a new series for ages 9+.

Found running wild in the forest of Ashton Place, the Incorrigibles are no ordinary children: Alexander, age ten or thereabouts, keeps his siblings in line with gentle nips; Cassiopeia, perhaps four or five, has a bark that is (usually) worse than her bite; and Beowulf, age somewhere-in-the-middle, is alarmingly adept at chasing squirrels. Luckily, Miss Penelope Lumley is no ordinary governess. Only fifteen years old and a recent graduate of the Swanburne Academy for Poor Bright Females, Penelope embraces the challenge of her new position.

Though she is eager to instruct the children in Latin verbs and the proper use of globes, first she must help them overcome their canine tendencies. But mysteries abound at Ashton Place: Who are these three wild creatures, and how did they come to live in the vast forests of the estate? Why does Old Timothy, the coachman, lurk around every corner? Will Penelope be able to teach the Incorrigibles table manners and socially useful phrases in time for Lady Constance's holiday ball? And what on earth is a schottische?

Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care About Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love—and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage.

I Don't Care About Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls who grew up in the shadow of feminism, thinking they could have everything, but end up compromising constantly.

The cowards, the kidults, the critics, and the contenders: these are the stars of Klausner's memoir about how hard it is to find a man—good or otherwise—when you're a cynical grown-up exiled in the dregs of Guyville.

Off the popularity of her New York Times Modern Love piece about getting the brush-off from an indie rock musician, I Don't Care About Your Band is marbled with the wry strains of Julie Klausner's precocious curmudgeonry and brimming with truths that anyone who's ever been on a date will relate to.

Klausner is an expert at landing herself waist-deep in crazy, time and time again, in part because her experience as a comedy writer (Best Week Ever, TV Funhouse on SNL) and sketch comedian from NYC's Upright Citizens Brigade fuels her philosophy of how any scene should unfold, which is, "What? That sounds crazy? Okay, I'll do it."

I Don't Care About Your Band charts a distinctly human journey of a strong-willed but vulnerable protagonist who loves men like it's her job, but who's done with guys who know more about love songs than love.

Klausner's is a new outlook on dating in a time of pop culture obsession, and she spent her 20's doing personal field research to back up her philosophies. This is the girl's version of High Fidelity. By turns explicit, funny and moving, Klausner's debut shows the evolution of a young woman who endured myriad encounters with the wrong guys, to emerge with real-world wisdom on matters of the heart.

Lucy Valentine is as smart as can be, as single as you can get, and so not qualified to run a matchmaking service. But when her parents temporarily step down from the family business, Valentine, Inc., it's Lucy's turn to step up and help out—in the name of love. Plus, her rent is due.

Here's the problem: Lucy doesn't have the knack for matchmaking. According to family legend, every Valentine has been blessed by Cupid with the ability to read auras and pair up perfect couples. But not Lucy. Her skills were zapped away years ago in an electrical surge, and now all she can do is find lost objects. What good is that in the matchmaking world? You'd be surprised.

In a city like Boston, everyone's looking for something. So when Lucy locates a missing wedding ring—on a dead body—she asks the sexy private eye who lives upstairs to help her solve the perfect crime. And who knows? Maybe she'll find the perfect love while she's at it…

Steel Magnolias meets The Help in this Southern debut novel sparkling with humor, heart, and feminine wisdom. Twelve-year-old CeeCee Honeycutt is in trouble. For years, she has been the caretaker of her psychotic mother, Camille-the tiara-toting, lipstick-smeared laughingstock of an entire town-a woman trapped in her long-ago moment of glory as the 1951 Vidalia Onion Queen. But when Camille is hit by a truck and killed, CeeCee is left to fend for herself.

To the rescue comes her previously unknown great-aunt, Tootie Caldwell. In her vintage Packard convertible, Tootie whisks CeeCee away to Savannah's perfumed world of prosperity and Southern eccentricity, a world that seems to be run entirely by women. From the exotic Miz Thelma Rae Goodpepper, who bathes in her backyard bathtub and uses garden slugs as her secret weapons, to Tootie's all-knowing housekeeper, Oletta Jones, to Violene Hobbs, who entertains a local police officer in her canary-yellow peignoir, the women of Gaston Street keep CeeCee entertained and enthralled for an entire summer.

Laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching, Beth Hoffman's sparkling debut is a novel that explores the indomitable strengths of female friendship and gives us the story of a young girl who loses one mother and finds many others.

Halli Sveinsson has grown up in the House of Svein, listening to the legends of the heroes as all his forefathers did. His is a peaceful society where the violence of the past has been outlawed and disputes are settled by the Council.

But young Halli has never quite seemed to fit in with the others. For starters, he was not at all handsome or tall, like his attractive blond siblings. He's stumpy and swarthy, with a quick mind and an aptitude for getting in trouble. Bored with the everyday chores and sheep herding, he can't help himself from playing practical jokes on everyone, from Eyjolf the old servant, to his brother and sister.

But when he plays a trick on Ragnor of the House of Hakonsson, he goes too far, setting in motion a chain of events that will forever alter his destiny. Because of it, Halli will have to leave home and go on a hero's quest. Along the way, he will encounter highway robbers, terrifying monsters, and a girl who may finally be his match.

In the end, he will discover the truth about the legends, his family, and himself. Jonathan Stroud's new novel is a hero's saga and coming-of-age—as well as a surprising look at what bravery really means.

Old flames are reignited in the fifth and final book in the New York Times bestselling Jessica Darling series. Captivated readers have followed Jessica through every step and misstep: from her life as a tormented, tart-tongued teenager to her years as a college grad stumbling toward adulthood. Now a young professional in her mid-twenties, Jess is off to a Caribbean wedding. As she rushes to her gate at the airport, she literally runs into her former boyfriend, Marcus Flutie.

It's the first time she's seen him since she reluctantly turned down his marriage proposal three years earlier—and emotions run high. Marcus and Jessica have both changed dramatically, yet their connection feels as familiar as ever. Is their reunion just a fluke or has fate orchestrated this collision of their lives once again?

Told partly from Marcus's point of view, Perfect Fifths finally lets readers inside the mind of the one person who's both troubled and titillated Jessica Darling for years. Expect nothing less than the satisfying conclusion fans have been waiting for, one perfect in its imperfection.

Tony Chu is a detective with a secret. A weird secret. Tony Chu is Cibopathic, which means he gets psychic impressions from whatever he eats.

It also means he's a hell of a detective, as long as he doesn't mind nibbling on the corpse of a murder victim to figure out whodunit, and why. He's been brought on by the Special Crimes Division of the FDA, the most powerful law enforcement agency on the planet, to investigate their strangest, sickest, and most bizarre cases.

Collects CHEW issues #1-5.

About three things I was absolutely certain.

First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe.

Second, there was a vampire part of him—which I assumed was wildly out of his control—that wanted me dead.

And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.

And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon’s hilarious send-up of Twilight.

Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls.

After witnessing a number of strange events—Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!—Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire.

But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?

Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.

Ryan Gracin had a good life until he told his parents he was gay. Since they yanked their support for college, he had to find a way to pay for it. Little did he know that joining the Army was going to change his life forever. Especially when he was introduced to a Drill Sergeant who was nicknamed 'Big Daddy'.

Phillip Grabowski had joined the Army to follow in his father's footsteps. By the time Ryan entered, he had already made a name for himself. He was a soldier's soldier, but Ryan was making it really hard for him to remember that.

Sugar Beth Carey is back in town, the small southern town she despised and never intended to return to. However, she's also on a mission, to find a painting willed to her worth millions. To gain access to the estate of her deceased father, she must 'make nice' with its current occupant, Colin Byrne. No easy task, because as her teacher 15 years earlier, she ruined his reputation by falsely accusing him of molesting her, and now he is a rich, famous author relishing his opportunity for revenge.

But, what neither of them foresee is the begrudging respect they will develop for one another's wit and intelligence as they struggle to maintain their emotional distance and prevent themselves from falling in love. Complicated not only by their pasts, but by others who were hurt in the past as well.

Ain't She Sweet? is a story of courage and redemption...of friendship and laughter...of love and the possibility of happily-ever-after.

For Georgia, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Just when she thought she was the official one-and-only girlfriend of Masimo, he's walked off into the night with the full hump, leaving Georgia all aloney on her owney—again.

All because Dave the Laugh tried to do fisticuffs at dawn with him! Two boys "fighting" over Georgia? It's almost as romantic as Romeo and Juliet... though perhaps a touch less tragic.

It's time for Georgia to get to the bottom (oo-er) of this Dave the Laugh spontaneous puckering business once and for all. It's like they always say: If you snog a mate in the forest of red bottomosity and no one is around to see it, is he still a mate? Or is he something more?

The Wordy Shipmates is an exploration of the Puritans and their journey to America to become the people of John Winthrop's "city upon a hill"—a shining example, a "city that cannot be hid."

To this day, America views itself as a Puritan nation, but Vowell investigates what that means—and what it should mean. What was this great political enterprise all about? Who were these people who are considered the philosophical, spiritual, and moral ancestors of our nation? What Vowell discovers is something far different from what their uptight shoe-buckles-and-corn reputation might suggest. The people she finds are highly literate, deeply principled, and surprisingly feisty. Their story is filled with pamphlet feuds, witty courtroom dramas, and bloody vengeance.

Along the way she asks:

Was Massachusetts Bay Colony governor John Winthrop a communitarian, Christlike Christian, or conformity's tyrannical enforcer? Yes!

Was Rhode Island's architect Roger Williams America's founding freak or the father of the First Amendment? Same difference.

What does it take to get that jezebel Anne Hutchinson to shut up? A hatchet.

What was the Puritans' pet name for the Pope? The Great Whore of Babylon.

Sarah Vowell's special brand of armchair history makes the bizarre and esoteric fascinatingly relevant and fun. She takes us from the modern-day reenactment of an Indian massacre to the Mohegan Sun casino, from old-timey Puritan poetry, where "righteousness" is rhymed with "wilderness," to a Mayflower-themed waterslide. Throughout The Wordy Shipmates is rich in historical fact, humorous insight, and social commentary by one of America's most celebrated voices. Thou shalt enjoy it.

Discworld lives on in Unseen Academicals, the latest novel from Terry Pratchett. Delivering the trademark insight and humor readers the world over have come to expect from "the purely funniest English writer since Wodehouse", Unseen Academicals focuses on the wizards at Ankh-Morpork’s Unseen University, who are renowned for many things—sagacity, magic, and their love of teatime—as they attempt to conquer athletics.

The wizards are faced with the challenge of forming a football team composed of faculty, students, and staff, and they must win a football match without using magic. Meanwhile, Trev, a handsome street urchin and a right good kicker, falls for the kitchen maid Juliet, who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there ever was. Juliet's best pal, UU night cook Glenda, befriends the mysterious Mr. Nutt, about whom no one knows very much, including Mr. Nutt himself.

As the big match approaches, these four lives become entangled and changed forever. Because the thing about football—the most important thing about football—is that it is never just about football.

What do Katie-Rose, Yasaman, Milla, and Violet all have in common? Other than being named after flowers, practically nothing. Katie-Rose is a film director in training. Yasaman is a computer whiz. Milla is third in command of the A list. And Violet is the new girl in school. They’re fab girls, all of them, but they sure aren’t friends. And if evil queen bee Medusa— ’scuse me, Modessa—has her way, they never will be.

But this is the beginning of a new school year, when anything can happen and social worlds can collide...

Told in Lauren Myracle’s inventive narrative style—here a fresh mix of instant messages, blog posts, screenplay, and straight narrative—Luv Ya Bunches is a funny, honest depiction of the shifting alliances and rivalries that shape school days, and of the lasting friendships that blossom from the skirmishes.

It’s Jessie’s sophomore year of high school. A self-professed "mathelete," she isn’t sure where she belongs. Her two best friends have transformed themselves into punks, and one of them is going after her longtime crush. Her beloved older brother will soon leave for college (and in the meantime has shaved his mohawk and started dating... the prom princess!).

Things are changing fast. Jessie needs new friends. Her quest is a hilarious tour through high-school clique-dom, with a surprising stop along the way—the Dungeons and Dragons crowd, who out-nerd everyone.

Will hanging out with them make her a nerd, too? And could she really be crushing on a guy with too-short pants and too-white gym shoes?

If you go into the wild nerd yonder, can you ever come back?

The perennially popular tale of Alexander's worst day is a storybook that belongs on every child's bookshelf.

Alexander knew it was going to be a terrible day when he woke up with gum in this hair. And it got worse... His best friend deserted him. There was no dessert in his lunch bag. And, on top of all that, there were lima beans for dinner and kissing on TV!

This handsome new edition of Judith Viorst's classic picture book is sure to charm readers of all ages.

Buffy's world goes awry when former-classmate-turned-vampire Harmony Kendall lands her own reality TV show, Harmony Bites, bolstering bloodsucking fiends in the mainstream. Humans line up to have their blood consumed, and Slayers, through a series of missteps, misfortunes, and anti-Slayer propaganda driven by the mysterious Twilight, are forced into hiding.

In Germany, Faith and Giles discover a town where Slayers retreat from a world that has turned against them, only to find themselves in the arms of something far worse. A rogue-Slayer faction displaces an entire Italian village, living up to their tarnished reputation as power-hungry thieves. And finally, with the help of a would-be demon lover, Dawn addresses her unfaltering insecurities.

Collects issues #21-#25 and the short stories "Harmony Bites" and "Vampy Cat Play Friend" from MySpace Dark Horse Presents!

The Metamorphosis is a novella written by Franz Kafka, which was first published in 1915. It tells the story of salesman Gregor Samsa, who wakes one morning to find himself inexplicably transformed into a huge insect and subsequently struggles to adjust to this new condition.

The novella has been widely discussed among literary critics, with differing interpretations being offered. The text was first published in the October issue of the journal Die weißen Blätter under the editorship of René Schickele. The first edition in book form appeared in December 1915 in the series Der jüngste Tag, edited by Kurt Wolff.

With a length of about 70 printed pages over three chapters, it is the longest of the stories Kafka considered complete and published during his lifetime. In popular culture and adaptations of the novella, the insect is commonly depicted as a cockroach.

Everyone is afraid of something...

Madeleine Masterson is deathly afraid of bugs, especially spiders. Theodore Bartholomew is petrified of dying. Lulu Punchalower is scared of confined spaces. Garrison Feldman is terrified of deep water.

With very few options left, the parents of these four twelve-year-olds send them to the highly elusive and exclusive School of Fear to help them overcome their phobias. But when their peculiar teacher, Mrs. Wellington, and her unconventional teaching methods turn out to be more frightening than even their fears, the foursome realizes that this just may be the scariest summer of their lives.

Following Nice Girls Don’t Have Fangs, the second in a hilarious, smart, sexy romantic series about an out-of-work librarian who is turned into a vampire.

With her best friend Zeb’s Titanic-themed wedding looming ahead, new vampire Jane Jameson struggles to develop her budding relationship with her enigmatic sire, Gabriel. It seems unfair that she’s expected to master undead dating while dealing with a groom heading for a nuptial nervous breakdown, his hostile werewolf in-laws, and the ugliest bridesmaid dress in the history of marriage.

Meanwhile, the passing of Jane’s future step-grandpa puts Grandma Ruthie back on the market. Her new fiancé, Wilbur, has his own history of suspiciously dead spouses, and he may or may not have died ten years ago. Half-Moon Hollow’s own Black Widow has finally met her match.

Should Jane warn her grandmother of Wilbur’s marital habits or let things run their course? Will Jane always be an undead bridesmaid, never the undead bride?

Combining Mary Janice Davidson’s sass and the charm of Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse novels, this is an incredibly satisfying read for fans of paranormal romantic comedy.

That Old Cape Magic is a novel of deep introspection and every family feeling imaginable, with a middle-aged man confronting his parents and their failed marriage, his own troubled one, his daughter’s new life and, finally, what it was he thought he wanted and what in fact he has.

Following Bridge of Sighs—a national best seller hailed by The Boston Globe as “an astounding achievement” and “a masterpiece”—Richard Russo gives us the story of a marriage, and of all the other ties that bind, from parents and in-laws to children and the promises of youth.

Griffin has been tooling around for nearly a year with his father’s ashes in the trunk, but his mother is very much alive and not shy about calling on his cell phone. She does so as he drives down to Cape Cod, where he and his wife, Joy, will celebrate the marriage of their daughter Laura’s best friend. For Griffin, this is akin to driving into the past, since he took his childhood summer vacations here, his parents’ respite from the hated Midwest. And the Cape is where he and Joy honeymooned, in the course of which they drafted the Great Truro Accord, a plan for their lives together that’s now thirty years old and has largely come true. He’d left screenwriting and Los Angeles behind for the sort of New England college his snobby academic parents had always aspired to in vain; they’d moved into an old house full of character; and they’d started a family. Check, check, and check.

But be careful what you pray for, especially if you manage to achieve it. By the end of this perfectly lovely weekend, the past has so thoroughly swamped the present that the future suddenly hangs in the balance. And when, a year later, a far more important wedding takes place, their beloved Laura’s, on the coast of Maine, Griffin’s chauffeuring two urns of ashes as he contends once more with Joy and her large, unruly family, and both he and she have brought dates along. How in the world could this have happened?

The storytelling is flawless throughout, moments of great comedy and even hilarity alternating with others of rueful understanding and heart-stopping sadness, and its ending is at once surprising, uplifting, and unlike anything this Pulitzer Prize winner has ever written.

Lara Lington has always had an overactive imagination, but suddenly that imagination seems to be in overdrive. Normal professional twenty-something young women don’t get visited by ghosts. Or do they?

When the spirit of Lara’s great-aunt Sadie—a feisty, demanding girl with firm ideas about fashion, love, and the right way to dance—mysteriously appears, she has one request: Lara must find a missing necklace that had been in Sadie’s possession for more than seventy-five years, because Sadie cannot rest without it.

Lara and Sadie make a hilarious sparring duo, and at first it seems as though they have nothing in common. But as the mission to find Sadie’s necklace leads to intrigue and a new romance for Lara, these very different “twenties” girls learn some surprising truths from and about each other. Written with all the irrepressible charm and humor that have made Sophie Kinsella’s books beloved by millions, Twenties Girl is also a deeply moving testament to the transcendent bonds of friendship and family.

Addie Downs and Valerie Adler were eight when they first met and decided to be best friends forever. But, in the wake of tragedy and betrayal during their teenage years, everything changed. Val went on to fame and fortune. Addie stayed behind in their small Midwestern town.

Destiny, however, had more in store for these two. And when, twenty-five years later, Val shows up at Addie’s front door with blood on her coat and terror on her face, it is the beginning of a wild adventure for two women joined by love and history who find strength together that they could not find alone.

Unbuckle your belt and pull up a chair. It's the spiciest, sauciest, most rib-sticking Plum yet.

Recipe for disaster: Celebrity chef Stanley Chipotle comes to Trenton in a barbecue cook-off and loses his head - literally.

Throw in some spice: Bail bonds office worker Lula is witness to the crime, and the only one she'll talk to is Trenton cop Joe Morelli.

Pump up the heat: Chipotle's sponsor is offering a million-dollar reward to anyone who can provide information leading to the capture of the killers.

Stir the pot: Lula recruits bounty hunter Stephanie Plum to help find the killer and collect the moolah.

Add a secret ingredient: Stephanie Plum's Grandma Mazur. Enough said.

Bring to a boil: Stephanie Plum is working overtime tracking felons for the bonds office at night and snooping for security expert Carlos Manoso, aka Ranger, during the day. Can Stephanie hunt down two killers, a traitor, and five skips, keep her grandmother out of the sauce, and solve Ranger's problems without jumping his bones?

Warning: Habanero hot. So good you'll want seconds.