My name is Ruby. This book is about me. It tells the deeply hideous story of what happens when my mother dies and I'm dragged three thousand miles away from my gorgeous boyfriend, Ray, to live in L.A. with my father, who I've never even met because he's such a scumbag that he divorced my mom before I was born.

The only way I've ever even "seen" him is in the movies, since he's this megafamous actor who's been way too busy trying to win Oscars to even visit me once in fifteen years. Everyone loves my father. Everyone but me.