Rude Bitches Make Me Tired is an always sensible and mildly profane etiquette manual for the modern age. Celia Rivenbark addresses real-life quandaries ranging from how to deal with braggy playground moms to wondering if you can have sex in your aunt's bed on vacation to correctly grieving the dearly departed (hint: it doesn't include tattoos or truck decals).

This book will provide answers to all your mannerly questions as Celia discusses the social conundrums of our day and age, including:

• Navigating the agonies of check splitting ("Who had the gorgonzola crumbles and should we really care?")
• The baffling aspects of airline travel (such as "Recline Monster" and other animals)
• The art of the visit (always leave them wanting more . . . much more)
• Gym and locker etiquette (hint: no one wants to talk to you while you're buck naked)
• Office manners ("Loud talkers, cake hawkers, and Britney Sue's unfortunate cyst")

Good manners have never been so wickedly funny!

A guy walks into a bar car and...

From here, the story could take many turns. When this guy is David Sedaris, the possibilities are endless, but the result is always the same: he will both delight you with twists of humor and intelligence and leave you deeply moved.

Sedaris remembers his father's dinnertime attire (shirtsleeves and underpants), his first colonoscopy (remarkably pleasant), and the time he considered buying the skeleton of a murdered Pygmy.

With Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls, David Sedaris shows once again why his work has been called hilarious, elegant, and surprisingly moving.