Jacqueline M. Pane is an ordinary woman in her 30s who believes her life would be perfect if only she had a small bum, sticky-up bosoms, and a Prada handbag. She has fine-tuned paranoia and applies it to every area of her life, from her earrings, cellulite, and job, to the men in her life.

This book is a hilarious diary of her journey as she perfects the art of feeling shitty about every little, and not so little, bit of herself. The potential for self-doubt lies in everything - and it's all her fault.